


Not A Bit

by bamboozledbylife



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Coffee Shops, M/M, if that sort of thing bugs you, mention of the Kurta massacre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bamboozledbylife/pseuds/bamboozledbylife
Summary: “I hope you weren’t waiting for me for too long.”“Not any longer than I was expecting to.”“One day, I’ll arrive early. What ever will you do with yourself then?”“I’d have to kill whatever clone of you showed up in your place.”“Maybe you’d like my evil twin.”“You are the evil twin.”Trying to get information out of Hisoka is like herding cats, and Chrollo knows best.





	Not A Bit

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at bamboozledbylife

The bustle of a crowd, the smell of fresh, warm coffee, the soft glow of dim lightbulbs. The ambiance of the cafe was alien, but inviting. Chrollo took a long sip of the drink in his hand, savoring the warmth. The rain outside was now a drizzle, but his clothes and hair remained damp from the downpour earlier.  
He had a book open on the table, but he wasn’t really reading it. He’d read it a dozen times previous, an old favorite. He was skimming it now, killing time waiting for his companion. Chrollo was punctual, almost to a fault, in contrast to the man he was awaiting. Hisoka was always late. It didn’t matter to what. It didn’t matter when. He was always late.   
He brushed his fingertips over the exposed pages, letting his eyes wander. He was seated by a window and could clearly see the entrance. Five minutes late became ten minutes late, became fifteen. Finally, the chime of a bell and a familiar set of footsteps signaled Hisoka’s entrance.  
Chrollo’s book closed with a soft thump. Hisoka pulled out the chair opposite him, sitting in a manner too poised to be natural.

“I hope you weren’t waiting for me for too long.”  
“Not any longer than I was expecting to.”  
“One day, I’ll arrive early. What ever will you do with yourself then?”  
“I’d have to kill whatever clone of you showed up in your place.”  
“Maybe you’d like my evil twin.”  
“You are the evil twin.”  
“Don’t compliment me too much, it may go to my head.”  
“You? Arrogant? Never.”

Hisoka snorted, putting his elbow on the table and resting his cheek against his hand. 

“Won’t that ruin your makeup?”   
“You underestimate its durability.”  
“What about your hair? Rain isn’t too kind to that sort of thing.”  
“My hair’s-“ Hisoka shot a disgusted look at the sky- “just fine. No thanks to any of that out there.”  
“It was worse earlier.”  
“Yes, I can see your clothes are rather damp.”   
“It’s not terribly comfortable.”   
“I can always help you out of them, if you’d like.”

Chrollo played with the cup in hand, long since empty. A second one sounded nice, and he had a feeling he’d need one after dealing with Hisoka.

“I can manage.”  
“I didn’t ask if you needed me to help, I asked if you wanted me to.”  
“Another time, I’m busy.”  
“Oh well, that’s too bad. My schedule is a lot like myself, if you’re wondering.”   
“Unreliable?”  
“Flexible.”

Chrollo sighed deeply. Hisoka winked at him, toothy grin spread wide across his face. 

“You’re awfully smug about such a mediocre joke.”  
“I told you all those compliments would go to my head.”  
“You’re incorrigible.”  
“Again, with the flattery.”  
“What if I gave you a real compliment? Would your head finally explode?”  
“Who knows?”

Chrollo studied his face, pondering his response. 

“You look nice today.”  
“How very generic, I look nice everyday.”   
“The correct response is thank you.”   
“No, _a_ response is thank you.”  
“Never mind, I take it back. You look awful.”  
“No accounting for taste.”

Chrollo leaned back in his chair, casting his gaze towards the street. The large window afforded a generous view. He tapped his cup on the table, marking a steady rhythm.

“Should I be reading into that or are you jonesing for another cup?”  
“Considering one.”

The rain came to a halt, the sun beginning to peak through the clouds. Chrollo watched the reverberations in the puddles on the street, shaking as the cars drove past. 

“The banter’s been nice, but if that’s all, I should get going.”  
“No, stay.”

As the other patrons noticed the cessation of the rain, they began to filter outside. Hisoka tapped his fingers on the table, matching the tempo to the dull thud of Chrollo’s cup. In a few short minutes they were nearly alone, the odd costumer still coming in and out. 

“You could’ve asked me to meet you somewhere private, you know.”  
“Clearly.”  
“So why didn’t you?”  
“You would’ve gotten the wrong impression. This is business.”  
“Mixing business and pleasure can be more lucrative than you’d think.”  
“Perhaps, but I’m looking for efficient.”  
“I can multitask.”   
“I’ll take your word on it.”  
“I’d be more than happy to show you.”   
“Business, Hisoka.”  
“Fine, be like that. Get on with it then.”   
“What do you know about Silva Zoldyck?”  
“That’s some pretty hefty information you’re asking for.”  
“I’m aware.”   
“I can’t just tell you that for free.”  
“I know that too.”   
“What makes you think I know more about him than you do?”  
Chrollo shrugged, “call it a hunch.”   
“You may find yourself disappointed.”  
“That’s my problem.”  
“We really should go somewhere more private.”  
“Right here is fine.”  
“Someone’s awfully snippy.”  
“Someone’s being difficult.”  
“I’m always difficult, it’s part of my appeal.”

Chrollo tore off a bit of a napkin, crumpling it between his fingers. He flicked it at Hisoka, who watched as it bounced off his shoulder.

“Really?”   
“Let’s talk payment, what do you want in exchange?”  
“This isn’t the kind of information you can pay for with sex.”  
“I’ve never paid you for anything with sex.”  
“Are you suggesting that you’ve been having sex with me for free, like some sort of idiot?”  
“I’m suggesting that I’m not a prostitute.”  
“But you don’t deny that you’re an idiot?”  
“Hisoka,” Chrollo rolled his eyes, “just name your price already.”

The click of Hisoka’s fingers on the table stopped abruptly. He made a show of appearing thoughtful, tapping a finger against his lips. The desire for more caffeine rang louder as Chrollo waited. He glanced at the watch on his wrist, frowning. He would be keeping Franklin and Shizuku waiting.

“Do you still have those eyes somewhere?”  
“Huh?” 

Chrollo stared at him in confusion for a few seconds before he processed the words. 

“The scarlet eyes?”  
“Mhm.”   
“I haven’t sold any of those yet, so yes.”   
“I want a pair.”  
“That doesn’t seem like the sort of thing you’d be interested in.”  
“Luckily enough, that isn’t up to you.”  
“True. Do you just want one? I have dozens.”  
“You shouldn’t try and talk up the price. You’re terrible at bartering.”  
“I’m not trying to make you ask for more. I’m just surprised.”  
“Like I said,” Hisoka leaned over the table, placing himself inches from Chrollo’s face, “terrible at bartering.” 

Hisoka stood then, leaning against his chair while he waited for Chrollo to follow.

“Going somewhere?”  
“We are going somewhere, yes.”  
“What? I thought we were doing this here?”   
“We most certainly aren’t. I’ll tell you while we walk, you know, multitasking.”

Chrollo grabbed his coat from the back of his chair, using his foot to scoot it in when he stood. He threw his empty cup away and followed Hisoka out of the cafe. 

They walked side by side in silence, passing through the busy streets until they reached a more desolate part of town.

“Why do you want this information?”   
“Why do you want the eyes?”  
“Touché.”

A cold drop of water landed right between his eyes, and to Chrollo’s dismay, it began to rain again. Hisoka took a sharp turn into an alleyway, tugging Chrollo along by his sleeve. One of the buildings that exited into the alley had an awning pulled over the door frame. They stood together under the meager covering, Hisoka slipping a hand around his waist.

“We should’ve stayed where we were.”  
“It would’ve been a waste. How else should we have found ourselves with such a perfect opportunity?”  
“I don’t suppose you’re talking about our deal.”   
“Relax,” Hisoka pulled him closer, pressing his body up against him, “you’re always in such a rush.”  
“I’m not inclined to give favors to a man who called me an idiot barely 10 minutes ago.”  
“You told me I looked awful.”   
“After I told you you looked good.”   
“Then it’s even worse. You lied to me.”  
“You lie to me with every other breath.”  
“Yes, but I’m allowed to.”  
“Says who?”   
“Me.”

Chrollo rolled his eyes, shifting away from his companion. Hisoka responded by stepping in front of him, pushing him against the cool brick. Chrollo placed his hands on Hisoka’s chest, forcing space between them.

“You wanna know a secret?” Hisoka pressed his knee in between Chrollo’s legs.  
“You’re molesting me in an alleyway?”  
“That’s not a secret.”  
“Alright, let’s hear it.”

Hisoka placed his hands on top of Chrollo’s, guiding his arms to rest on his shoulders. He bent down, nipping up and down Chrollo’s neck. 

“I’m not hearing anything, Hisoka.” 

Hisoka laughed, breath tickling and warm. Chrollo ran a hand through the back of Hisoka’s hair, purposefully mussing it. As he bent the gelled hair in odd ways Hisoka delivered an especially strong bite right above his clavicle. Chrollo inhaled sharply, one hand fisting in Hisoka’s hair, the other in his shirt.

“I’m beginning to think there’s no secret.”  
“Like I said, you’re always in a rush.”

Hisoka kissed the red marks littering Chrollo’s neck.

“If you really must know,” Hisoka murmured the words against his skin, “I was never going to tell you anything about Silva Zoldyck anyways.”  
“Of course not,” Chrollo sighed, “which is why you asked for something you didn’t want, right?”   
“Not such an idiot after all.”

Chrollo relaxed his hands, placing them on Hisoka’s shoulders and pushing him out of the way. 

“Don’t be like that. It would be a terrible shame to have spent all this time together and not actually have done anything.”  
“Did you actually think I’d have sex with you publicly, in the middle of the day? I have some standards.”  
“Those are new.”  
“I guess it comes with actually having money.”   
“And what exactly are you doing with this new found money?”  
“Currently? Paying for a hotel room.”   
“Mind if I join you?”

Chrollo checked his watch one more time; he was very, very, late. So late, in fact, that he should probably cancel. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, considering it carefully. He shot a quick text to Franklin, some half-true excuse.

“Suddenly my schedule has cleared.”  
“How convenient. I’ll take that as a yes?”  
“Why else would I mention it?” 

The rain began pouring down, and Chrollo grimaced just imaging the walk. He could’ve been inside if it wasn’t for Hisoka. If Hisoka hadn’t been late that morning. If Hisoka hadn’t made everything take so long. If Hisoka hadn’t been so damn difficult. By himself he was always on time, but Hisoka had this way of ruining it. No matter how long he expected something to take, it always took longer.  
Stepping out into the pouring rain with Hisoka’s arm slung around his shoulders, hair and clothes sticking to his skin, he realized he really didn’t mind. Not a bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Them talking about the eyes kind of dates this, but this is also before Hisoka was in the phantom troupe, making them about 21 & 23 (something like that anyways)


End file.
